Love is a term that is very hard to define, though bounded by different meanings, it can only offer the same feelings. Love may come in different forms and on different people and it can hit anyone at the right or wrong times.
When love already struck me, I don't even know how to react, it is indeed a strange feeling but I know it is love. In fact, it is only one sided because I am the only one in love with the guy but he doesn't actually know what I feel.
It has been three years since the last time I saw his face but it is still fresh and vivid in my mind. He is a guy that I can always see but I can never touch, yet he exists. I know him personally, we know each other by name and we have seldom conversations but more than that -- NOTHING.
Until now my mind keeps on asking why I love him, but my heart answers, "I don't know," The only thing that remains clear to me is that I love him -- his wholeness even his imperfections. My love doesn't ask for reasons.
It's hard because I am aware that I am just putting a wrong interpretation on his kindness. Though I see that we have connections, I know that I am the only one falling into him. The hardest thing here is realizing and accepting that the guy doesn't love you yet you continue to love him more. Stupid am I?... "YES," I do say that to myself, I am actually insane.
Although time had passed, I still love him and forever I will, but I need to move forward as well because if I continue to hold on, I will end up being trapped on my past. So I decided to let go and move on. I hate this because I don't know where to start and how. It seems like I'm on a labyrinth and it's hard but I need to try...
After all, I'd realized that letting go doesn't mean giving up and moving on doesn't mean forgetting at all, these words simply imply that holding on is worthless anymore because it cannot bring things back and I am now trying to accept that this guy I once loved will forever be my first love and he will always have a place in my heart but our love story ends here.
We didn't have a happy ending and I am not rueful in any sense, at least I didn't end up crying. it is just that I want to be born a little earlier...
What I've learned from this experience is that in love, happiness and hurt is always present and happy ending is impossible at times. There is no such thing as a perfect love story and sacrificing is one of love's laws. Whether you end up happy or not so happy, the best thing is you learn how to love and continue to love, so for me that's the COST.
(acknowledgement for the creator of the video.., CUPID by Girl's Day, City Hunter's OST. Enjoy ^_^)
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